Sarcastic Love Jokes

Love....ahh that elusive wonderful thing. So deliciously good it hurts. Love is complicated, irrational, and contradictory at times.

These jokes are for the cynics, who want the whole cake with ice cream on the side.

- Mother, I have a dilemma, and am torn between two decisions.

- Okay, what is your problem my dear?

- Well I love Michael, he's handsome, exciting, but poor. Andy is my other suitor, he is homely, dull, but filthy rich.

- *Giggles* My dear, the answer is clear!

- And what is that?

- Marry Andy and hire a pool boy.

Carson was in love with Michelle. They had been seeing each other for almost a year, but Carson was a paranoid affluent man. He was worried about rumors going around about Michelle, and how she was a golddigger. Carson had his share of golddiggers, lustful for money, and power.

So when Carson called Michelle one afternoon, he suddenly asked her if it was true that she was a golddigger. Michelle paused for a moment, then brightly replied yes.

Carson called her a hoebag, and hung up. Michelle, distraught and hurt, put down the phone. Her manager yelled at her, and she picked up the mallet beside her. She walked slowly into the mine weeping and angerly golddigging all day.

Dolly Plucket was a vain, and clueless girl. Her parents were rich affluent californians who bent to Dolly's every whim, no matter how preposterous. Her mother was a real estate agent, and her father a plastic surgeon.

Dolly desperately wanted to catch the town's richest man eye. She had talked to him a few times and he never showed her any interest. He said he wasn't looking for any regular woman, but wanted one who had the best of both worlds.

Dolly asked her father for help, and he refused at first, but finally submitted.

Dolly met up with the rich man one day in a bar, and they went to his home. Thereafter they started kissing, and fondling one another. The man suddenly stopped, and looked down at Dolly's panties.

"What is that Dolly?" he gasped.

"You said you wanted the best of both worlds!" Dolly retorted, "So Im up for anything!"

- You know the story of Cinderella?

- Yes I do.

- Who was your favorite character?

- The evil stepsister..whichever one.

- Why? They led miserable lives while Cinderella lived happily ever after!

- Puhleaaze. Cinderella was stuck married to a gay prince, and forced to bear 5 of his children. The stepsisters were single, with no attachments, and did I say rich. Booyah.